I’m not the same person as I was on my last post, and that was over a year ago. Today, I see life in a whole new way compared to before. I’m still a lover of music, still a lover of life, but I’m “different”. How much different and how so is something I have yet to discover, and I hope to discover what those answers are with you as I write my first blog post in a while. You see, not much a whole lot has changed in my life over the past year. It’s hard to tack down, but the few brass tacks I have to pinpoint any foundational reasons why I might be so different is observing what’s going around in the world right now and watching a lot more political debates online.
I’ve tried again and again not to get my head all wound up in global affairs I have no power over but like a bee to flowers I’m bewitched. I’m brain-sucked, bent backward, drooling over my phone with my legs up over my head. I’m swimming through a boggy estuary where the river of crap meets the ocean of reality and I can’t help myself from saying stuff like “my brain hurts” or “I can’t feel my heart.” But life is great!
I got a fat lump from the government to sit in my house all day and I feel like an animal in a zoo as government officials eat popcorn and stare at me from the webcam on my laptop. I’m trying my hardest to dance like a monkey but I only end up on the floor with my brain where my feet should be. May not make much sense to say it like that but it never made sense to me. Like, what is the world coming to?
Figuring out my inner thoughts out as I write this in a trance gives me some kind of grasp on my remaining sanity. Thank heavens for music! I’ve clicked more music “play now” buttons in the past few months to make a total of enough pokes to make sure your high school bully thought twice about ever poking you again. And never in my life have I been more involved in actually making music besides just listening to it. I guess that’s the biggest change I’ve experienced over the past year. Music has consumed me!
Now I’m just thinking my next plan of action should be to listen to some positive music for a change. It’s no wonder why I’ve been in the ditch mentally these past few weeks. All the music I’ve been listening to has just been reminding me of all that’s wrong with the world right now.
I never thought it would be so simple.
I just need to find my rhythm again!