2020

Moving to Hamilton

My friends called me crazy for wanting to move right now. I think they should. The world is in lock-down, everyone’s staying at home, and here I am planning to drive through a post-apocalyptic world all the way to Hamilton, Ontario. The real reason my friends think I’m crazy is not because I’m moving soon, though they admitted that was crazy enough, but because I’m moving for no reason without a plan.

That’s right. There’s no spelling errors here. I meant it! I’m moving for no reason without a plan, and for that I might as well be exiled because my friends don’t want to talk to me anymore. I guess they don’t know what a cellphone is. Besides, I only plan to live in Hamilton for a few years.

I guess it’s right to be mad at a friend who just gets up and leaves, especially when she ignored all their advice. Well, I’m moving and that’s final! I guess it’s also wrong to say that there’s absolutely no reason why I’m moving. A hard to see truth is that I just feel like there’s something exciting waiting for me in Hamilton, maybe a new love or something different than the mundane existence I’ve been living lately. Also, Hamilton is just the first place I found an apartment I can afford in such a short notice.

Today, there’s two more things I want to finish fleshing out with you guys.

  1. What am I going to do for work once I get there?
  2. Will there even be any work when I get there?

All I know is that there’s no work where I’m coming from, and I can’t keep sitting on my butt all day. I’ve already done some research online but until I actually get there I feel there’s not much I can do in the way of job hunting. I’ve already called a few landscaping companies and emailed a few grocery stores, but there’s nothing on the table yet. I also created a list of companies I want to call when I get there. There’s a few companies I’m really hopeful for, like this appliance repair Hamilton company that my friend suggested. Whatever happens, I just won’t find myself working in a restaurant, even a fancy one that pays tips. I’d much rather work outside or on the go. Even office jobs are kind of iffy. The best case scenario would be that I get a job making music. But until concerts and bars reopen I won’t be able to get any gigs. There’s still money in selling music online though!

Even if I struggle to get employed in the beginning and find myself lost in a world of strangers, there’s one thing I know I can do that will make it all worthwhile. Can you guess what it is? That’s right… It’s creating new memories. My favorite thing to do besides music! When I do finally come back home where all my friends will be waiting for me, hopefully, I’ll have many new memories and stories to share. I’ll have more experience. I’ll be wiser. I’ll grow a lot because of this, and I’m ready for that growth. It will be an adventure, and I’m excited to get my feet wet.

For the first time in a long time I’m pleased for what the future beholds. I don’t know what to expect, and that’s what I’m glad for. This change will be good for me. I’ll no longer be settled in a life that’s comfortable. I’ll be out there in the real world again. To me, that’s the only thing that matters right now. My friends can become my enemies, but if they truly understand me they’ll know why I have to do this. Heck, I hope they understand so they can explain it to me!

Wish me luck…

Why No Posting Lately?

I’m not the same person as I was on my last post, and that was over a year ago. Today, I see life in a whole new way compared to before. I’m still a lover of music, still a lover of life, but I’m “different”. How much different and how so is something I have yet to discover, and I hope to discover what those answers are with you as I write my first blog post in a while. You see, not much a whole lot has changed in my life over the past year. It’s hard to tack down, but the few brass tacks I have to pinpoint any foundational reasons why I might be so different is observing what’s going around in the world right now and watching a lot more political debates online.

I’ve tried again and again not to get my head all wound up in global affairs I have no power over but like a bee to flowers I’m bewitched. I’m brain-sucked, bent backward, drooling over my phone with my legs up over my head. I’m swimming through a boggy estuary where the river of crap meets the ocean of reality and I can’t help myself from saying stuff like “my brain hurts” or “I can’t feel my heart.” But life is great!

I got a fat lump from the government to sit in my house all day and I feel like an animal in a zoo as government officials eat popcorn and stare at me from the webcam on my laptop. I’m trying my hardest to dance like a monkey but I only end up on the floor with my brain where my feet should be. May not make much sense to say it like that but it never made sense to me. Like, what is the world coming to?

Figuring out my inner thoughts out as I write this in a trance gives me some kind of grasp on my remaining sanity. Thank heavens for music! I’ve clicked more music “play now” buttons in the past few months to make a total of enough pokes to make sure your high school bully thought twice about ever poking you again. And never in my life have I been more involved in actually making music besides just listening to it. I guess that’s the biggest change I’ve experienced over the past year. Music has consumed me!

Now I’m just thinking my next plan of action should be to listen to some positive music for a change. It’s no wonder why I’ve been in the ditch mentally these past few weeks. All the music I’ve been listening to has just been reminding me of all that’s wrong with the world right now.

I never thought it would be so simple.

I just need to find my rhythm again!